Stories from the Journey: My Harsh Reality.

The most accurate picture of my sweet sister EVER. Helping others (doing MY laundry) with a smile.

This is my sister JoAnn. She's my host mother's (Violy) daughter in law. JoAnn and her husband Big Boy live with us- just about 10 feet from me. :) JoAnn is 35 (although she looks about 22) and hasn't been able to have children in her 12 years of marriage. This is hard for her because she LOVES children. She has her Master's in Early Childhood Education (and was asking me for teaching advice- HA!) and taught at the school I now work at for a little while. Since then, she has not been able to find work, despite her incredible credentials. This is a major problem in the Philippines. It is referred to as the "brain drain"- educated people generally attempt to find work outside the country because a) it is hard to find work here b) you can make more money elsewhere c) the Philippine government is corrupt and steals money that is supposed to go to social services. Before I get started on the government corruption here, let me share JoAnn's story with you.

"JoAnn told me that she has her degree in education but can't find a job. She has applied with an agency to work overseas as a domestic helper in Hong Kong until she can find a teaching job. 'I do not have a family to support, but I want to work for the glory of God.' She also shared her Jesus story with me. She told me that both she and her husband Big Boy (Violy's son) used to live a very 'earthly' life- smoking, drinking, and having fun. Never drugs though. She said she found God when things were going very badly for her. She had failed her teaching exam and couldn't find work. She also hadn't had a baby, and she and Big Boy had been married for several years. She said, 'I knew who Jesus was, but I did not know Him personally. I got down on my knees and asked Him into my life as my personal savior. I knew He was my creator, and that was what was really important. Now I go to church every Sunday and Bible study too. I was baptized on Easter Sunday in 2011, so that is my birthday!' What an amazing story! We talked about how we think it is easier to find God when things are not going well, because as she said- earthly life is fun! It's hard to see Him when all is well but He is always present for us- especially when life is hard. I was glad to have more than a surface conversation with her (or with anyone, for that matter). I guess my feeling of futility doesn't matter so much because I had a great relational day- even if it wasn't at 'work'." -excerpt from my journal, 10/8/13

Isn't that an awesome story? It really just barely touches on what a bright soul and spirit she is. She is such a giver- always doing for others- and rarely receives recognition for her hard work. She is always translating things for me, making me laugh, singing around the house, cooking, cleaning, etc. I spent this morning with her because I asked her to teach me how to do laundry. We learned how to hand wash clothes while we were in Bohol, but Ate Raquel helped us a lot. I want to be able to do it on my own! We talked about pork barrel (google it), human trafficking, how investments work in the Philippines (you buy a pig, apparently), the gift of education, etc. She has become my friend, sister, and confidante here. I truly can't imagine my life here without her.

But there's the hard thing. I have to. Tomorrow, she is going to Bacolod City for training for the agency she's working with. She was gone last week for a few days to get results from a medical exam, and boy was our house quiet. I really learned the meaning of "you don't know what you've got til it's gone." I had no idea how much of a presence she was in the house and in my life until she was absent from it!

She is waiting for her Visa from China. In the middle of November, she'll be moving to Hong Kong to work as a domestic helper. This is intended to be a stepping stone for her to get a teaching job, but who knows how long that will take.

I have been here for about a month and a half, and until now, the concept of the "brain drain" was just that- a concept. A theoretical idea. A "wow, that sucks" kind of thing. But now, it's real. It's affecting MY life. I am experiencing a major Philippine reality that I didn't think would ever affect me. It has affected me in theory because I stay in a very nice house- funded by Violy's daughter who lives and works in Canada. But the daughter in Canada is just a name to me. The people who have nice houses here have relatives overseas. Period. Can you imagine how difficult it would be if the only way to support your family was from thousands of miles away? This happens every day. Mothers leave their husbands and their children, just to send a check home so that their families can go to school, have a roof over their heads, and have food to eat. Sometimes marriages become broken because of this. It's easy to see why.

Tears well up every time I think about JoAnn leaving. And y'all, I have only known her for TWO WEEKS! She has become a part of my life here so quickly and so easily that it feels like I've known her for years. I can't even fathom how hard it will be for her to say goodbye to her husband, and her mother-in-law, who is her partner in everything. It is just the two of them a lot of the time. JoAnn told me yesterday that every time she mentions the fact that she is leaving in about a month to Violy, Mama leaves the room. Mama Violy is 67, a widow, and most of her children live far away. Ugh. Our hearts are breaking.

This is without question the hardest thing I've had to handle since being here. Lots of things are hard about living here. There is usually something every single day that is at least a small struggle. But this one is personal. And the hardest thing for me is that there's nothing I can DO. She's going. I can't throw money at the situation and make it go away. I can't change her mind. She knows this is what she is supposed to do, it is what she wants, and it is what will happen.

All I can do is pray that the Philippine government will change it's ways. I can pray that the wealth in the Philippines will be redistributed through social services and local economies- as opposed to the incredibly wealthy members of the government that steal those funds for themselves. I can pray that future generations will find ways to get educated and STAY in the Philippines, making it a more successful and forward-thinking country. I can pray that JoAnn will travel safely. I can pray that she will find fulfilment in her new job. I can pray that Mama Violy will not be too lonely without her daughter-in-law.

Would you pray for these things with me? I know the United States government is having their own issues right now, but the Philippine government needs prayer too. If you don't do the whole praying thing, send good juju. Or research pork barrel in the Philippines and find out WHY this is a recurring problem. Be aware. Think about JoAnn as you tell your loved ones goodnight from the comfort of your own home, that you work for in your own country. Think about my mama Violy when you "don't have time" to call your mother. Look around you. Make others smile. You never know what is going on in their lives.

For the last few days, we have been singing a hymn around our house, JoAnn especially. The lyrics that have been constantly stuck in our heads go like this: "Touching lives with our hearts, reaching out- doing our part...." This reminds me of JoAnn and her entire attitude about life. Let's try to emanate her this week as we go about our daily lives.

Touch lives.

Reach out.

Do your part.

Mama Violy (left) and Ate JoAnn at her graduation in 2011, which was coincidentally right around the time she was baptized. Just look at that smile! :)