Wait, what?!?

I've known for a while that I wanted to write a blog post before I left for Africa, but I haven't really felt "ready". Not ready to write, not ready to go, not ready to experience this life-changing trip. I realized that I have continually told people how excited I am, but I'm not sure I really am.

In thinking about this, packing, and talking through it with some friends, I realized a) none of us are ready and b) we don't have to be! I seriously doubt Mary was "ready" to give birth to a baby after (as my pastor so aptly put it), she hadn't "done any baby-making business." I doubt that Saul, a Pharisee, was "ready" to go blind on his journey and see a vision of Christ and then give his life away to Jesus. 

And to be honest, I sure as heck wasn't "ready" to go to Africa when I signed up for the trip in March! I wasn't even close to the walk with Christ that I desire. I'm still not. This trip, while I'm sure it will be life-changing, is just a learning experience. It is a step. It is not the culmination of my walk with the Lord. When I get back, I'm not going to say "okay, I went to Africa! I'm done following Jesus now!" (If I say that, please smack me. Seriously.) 

I wasn't ready to start following the Lord when I did. I wasn't ready to sign up for a trip to freaking Africa when I did. I wasn't ready to move back to Beaufort when I did. I wasn't ready to start teaching Sunday school when I did. I wasn't ready to go back to college when I did. I wasn't ready to start volunteering with Young Life when I did.

But look where all those leaps of faith have brought me. I am following the Lord. I am going to Africa. I LOVE living in Beaufort. I get to worship with the kids I love every single Sunday. I got a 3.0 my first semester back at college. Some of the closest people in my life are people I have met through Young Life.

So yeah, I'll admit it. I'm not ready to go to Africa. I'm not ready to hold back tears seeing how "the least of these" live while I complain about my cracked iPhone screen. I'm not ready to do my least favorite thing in the world (flying) for LIKE TWENTY FOUR HOURS. I'm not ready.

But I'm doing it. I'm going.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

This is my command- be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

I'm boasting about my weaknesses! I know I need God to make this trip a success! Without Him, I wouldn't be going! My friend Meredith (who has gone on two VO trips before) gave me wonderful advice. Don't have any expectations, and pray, pray, pray! So this obsessive "planner" is giving it all to GOD and trusting that His will be done! 

Most importantly of all though, I need to remember that this trip isn't about me. At all. This trip is about JESUS. This trip is about GOD. God is BIG and GOOD and I am just a vessel to show these orphans just how big and good He is. My friend Tyler gave me the simplest, most perfect words. "Don't stress, just bless." That's what I'm going to do. Just bless others through Him. It's that simple.

As always, I love you all and am so thankful you read my babbles :) PLEASE be praying for our team as we travel and arrive in Africa! Pray for our safety, our ministry, our patience, love, and peace with one another and the kids. Pray that these orphans see Jesus in us. Pray that we will be the change.

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